With Every Step
by Tama0026
Summary: They meet. They fall in love. The story of an Edward, torn between his family and his love, and a Bella, just waiting for her happily ever after to find her.
1. Prologue

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related.

_**Summary:**_ They meet. They fall in love. The story of an Edward, torn between his family and his love, and a Bella, just waiting for her happily ever after to find her.

**Prologue:**

With every step I took I could feel my heart breaking. Breaking into a million pieces. You cannot mend a broken heart. You cannot pick up a million pieces. I tried.

Now I'm standing here and it's still breaking. It broke on my way to the church. On my way back home, that has never been a home in the common sense to me. It was just a house I could live in. On my way to the airport.

On the beach. The wind tickling my face. My heart breaking. A few thousand miles between us. My mind still on him. My heart still breaking.

It felt as if I'd loved him for as long as I could think. It was mutual. From the very beginning it was mutual. I saw him. I gaped. I laughed. I cried. I loved. I don't know about him. I guess it was similar for him.

There was drama. Really nasty high school drama. There were tears. On both parts. But there was also laughter and smiles and ice cream and love.

Yesterday I thought that everything would be fine. That my world wouldn't turn upside down and my heart wouldn't break into a million pieces and I'd get my happily ever after.

Fact is: Nobody ever gets their happily ever after.


	2. Chapter 1

_**A/N: **_So this story is my first one and it's rather embarassing to post something like that to be perfectly honest. It's probably gonna be rather short because it's just something that's been caught in my head for a while. Also, english is not my mothertongue so if there are any errors in my grammar or spelling or something just tell me and I'll correct it. I have no idea how often I'll update since my RL is rather busy right now. Kay, going to shut up now.

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing Stephenie Meyer or Twilight related.

**Chapter 1:**

I was born the daughter of a drug addict. My mother's name was Renee. That much they told me. I don't know who my father is. Probably some drug addict as well. I don't know. I never wanted to know. All I ever wanted was for someone to love me. Year after year I went from foster family to foster family, from foster home to foster home. Some were better, some were worse. I always thought I deserved it.

In school I was an outsider. The girl with the book. I only had three books. I was the girl with the old everything – old clothes, old backpack, old shoes. People made fun of me. People pushed me around. I always thought I deserved it.

I know what phsyical abuse is. Gone through it. Lived through it. Got stronger because of it. I know what mental abuse is. I got called all words imaginable. Was put down. Was used. I always thought I deserved it.

Until he came along. We were both broken. Other people broke us both. We built each other up. We healed each other.

When he first came into the coffeeshop I worked at, he just stood there. He stood and stared. First at the card. Then at me. His fingers twitched. Played a tune. I could hear him humming. He looked happy and sad. Then he looked at me. His eyes were the darkest shade of green. I will always associate green with home now. He was my home. Was.

When he smiled at me I felt dizzy. When he talked to me I smiled. We talked about coffee. Everyday he came in. Everyday we talked about coffee. About the coffeeshop. About the customers in the coffeeshop. We made fun of them. In the shop. We laughed. I felt happy.

After two weeks he asked me. Asked me if I wanted to go for a walk with him. He smiled. His whole body smiled. His eyes smiled. His fingers played a happy tune. I bet his heart smiled. It made my heart smile. I said I could take my break now. We just walked. And talked. About anything but coffee and the coffeeshop and the customers. We laughed again.

On the way back to the coffeeshop he took my hand. It was november. I had no gloves. He took my hand and his eyes asked if this was okay. And my eyes said it was. And his heart smiled and my heart smiled.

I went back to work and he stood outside and smiled for a while. Then he came in and kissed me on the mouth. A short kiss. A peck. And he said ,"I should've done this 2 weeks ago.", and his eyes smiled, "I wanted to.", and his heart smiled.

He didn't really kiss me for 2 more weeks. I went home every day. I told my friend Angela about him. We smiled. We giggled. We laughed. We gushed. Like little girls talking about their future prince charmings. I had found my prince charming.

When he finally kiss me it was spectacular. His hands cupped my whole face. They were playing a happy tune on my cheeks. His fingers were long. My hands were tormenting his hair. My fingers were threading through his hair. It was soft. I'd had a fascination with his hair from the day he walked into the coffeeshop. I'd always wanted to touch it. That moment I did. I touched a lot of him. His hair and his cheek with his stubble. From that day in I loved his stubble.

His lips were soft. The softest of lips. They were exploring, tasting, cherishing my lips. They were moving against mine at the right pace. Encouraging mine. Loving mine.

And he said, "I should've done this 2 weeks ago.", and his eyes smiled and my eyes smiled and he said, "I missed out."

That was my first kiss. It was the best first kiss a girl could dream of. I wanted him to be my last kiss.


	3. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related.

**Chapter 2:**

I had a lot of firsts with Edward. The first time talking about coffee was a pleasure and not a duty, the first time I wasn't cold in late november because he kept me warm whenever I was with him, the first time I had ice cream in november, the first time I slipped but didn't fall, the first time I held hands with someone, the first time I kissed someone, the first time I made love to someone, the first time I was happy.

Then there were a lot of things that felt as if I'd never done them right before I met him. I laughed differently, smiled differently, talked differently, walked differently.

My whole world revolved around him. People say too much or too little of something is never a good thing. I should've listened. But I didn't want to. I was happy.

The day after he kissed me he didn't come into the shop. I was worried. Worried that he didn't like the kiss. That he didn't like me anymore. Worried about me lacking in any way. I worried about him not wanting me anymore and I fell back into my old habit of pushing away every feeling or thought I'd ever had about him.

He came in the next day and told me that he overslept the day before because he had had a gig as a musician at a wedding. That was his job. He was a musician. I smiled at him. I beamed. And all the feelings poured out of me in the form of tears. And he got behind the counter, took my face into his hands and kissed my tears away. Every single one he captured. And it felt as if he'd kissed every tear that I'd ever cried away. And my heart smiled.

From that day on we met up every single day. Either in the coffeeshop or at my place or even his place. I introduced him to Angela. He walked into our apartment and he brightened up the whole room. He didn't judge. Maybe he didn't even see the paint crumbling off the wall or the dirty shower or the mold in our bedroom. Maybe he did and decided not to comment. Or maybe he just didn't care. Maybe he didn't care that Angela and I struggled to get through life as it was, with our 3 jobs each. Maybe he just cared about me letting him into my home, Angela's and my little fort, away from the cruel world.

His apartment looked nicer. Cleaner. Healthier. Not homy-er though. He said the apartment was lacking. He said I should make it homy-er for him. I did. I made it homy-er for him just like I'd done it with our apartment. He said something was still lacking. He took pictures of us together. Kissing. Cuddling. Smiling. Being happy. He put them on the walls and shelves and everywhere he could find. "Now this is a home", he said adn smiled.

I noticed a lot about him. He loved whenever I wore my hair down. He loved my shampoo. He loved to brush his knuckles along my cheek. He loved to carress my eyelids when he thought I was sleeping. He loved to play with my hair or my fingers when we were watching TV. He loved to hold hands in public.

I loved the way his laugh sounded. I loved that whenever he laughed his whole body laughed with him. I couldn't hear him laugh and not smile along. I loved his fingers with which he played piano beautifully. I loved his big strong hands that carried me into his bedroom whenever I fell asleep during a movie. I loved to run my hands through his hair. I loved to cook for him and clean for him and I loved how he thanked me afterwards. I loved each and every single one of his kisses. I loved how I forgot all about my problems whenever I was with him. I loved how he teached me that money didn't make people happy. I loved that he was the only person I could be myself with.

Everyday he spent the night at my place or I spent the night at his place. We cooked. We smiled. We talked. I grew a stronger person with him. I was more confident.

We talked about everything. My day, his day, our likes and dislikes, our habits and favorites. We talked about our dreams. I told him about my dream of opening a home for abandoned children of my own and to take care of them the way nobody ever did for me. He told me about his love for the piano and how he always wanted to compose music everyone would love to listen to. We talked about our future. We talked about how our futures were suddenly inseperable. How we couldn't ever imagine to live with another person. Before Edward I couldn't see a future. There were no prospects. Nothing to look forward to. Now I could see it bright and full of colors. By his side.

He told me everyday how beautiful I was for him. How my eyes sparkled whenever I looked at him and how my laugh made all those butterflies in his stomach go wild. And I smiled and felt better than I ever had before because that's what he did best. Make me feel good and loved and all those things a person in love feels.

About two months after our first kiss I spent the night at his place again and we slept with each other. First we talked, then we kissed and it turned into more and more was perfect. Even though it was messy and short and awkward it was also perfect. He was my first and completed me in a way nobody else ever would. That was the day I told him I loved him. He was sleeping and I drew shapes on his chest and while drawing a heart with my first name and his last name like normal girls do with their first crush I lay there and combined my name and his name to one name for the first time in my life. I had a lot of firsts with Edward. I wanted him to have my lasts as well.


	4. Chapter 3

_**A/N:**_ I don't want to beg for reviews because I hate it when authors do that but if you have some constructive criticism or anything else to say, don't be shy ;)

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing Stephenie Meyer or Twilight related.

**Chapter 3:**

I soon figured out that Edward was a happy and sad person all at once. Something was haunting him. Something that could make him look devastated in a matter of seconds. Something that sometimes could turn my sun into something cold or could turn him into a lost boy that was just searching for someone to find him and pick him up.

For two months we were dancing around the subjects that haunted us the most. The subject that maybe pushed us together, made us fall for each other, made us perfect for each other.

Two months into our relationship I told him about my past, about how I was mute till I was four because I was scared. Scared of all the people that I was a constant burden for, scared of the doctors they sent me to, scared of living. I told him about the people that shaped me to be the person I was, the people that scarr ed me for life and had haunted me in my dreams for years. Some of them still did.

I told him about how I grew up at a foster home the first three years of my life. Nobody had wanted me as a baby. Maybe I was an ugly baby. Maybe the fact that my mother had been addicted to drugs was the thing that pushed them away. Maybe it was just me.

I told him about how the situation in those foster homes was miserable, how they didn't have enough money for anything, how they looked away when a kid was bullied, how they sometimes bullied us themselves.

Whenever I was in a foster home, even there, a house full of outsiders, full of childen that nobody wants, abandoned children, I was the outsider. There were a few of the minders I got along with but most of them didn't stay long, ignored me after a while or just had too much to do to spend their time with me. I told him about how whenever I found another kid I could relate to, someone that could be a friend, they were either put into a foster family or adopted.

I told him my story and I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face or the hiccups. Edward took me into his arms and I buried my face in his chest and he buried his face in my hair and he would hum a tune. A beautiful tune that he called my lullaby.

My first foster family was nice. They were nice people and already had two children of their own. It didn't make a difference to them that I was not their own child. They accepted me like I was. They accepted that I didn't talk. All they ever did was encourage me and support me. I started talking under their care. I learned to love them. I also learned that loving can hurt.

After two years they moved. They moved and left me behind. The moment they drove me back to the foster home and I realized they'd leave me there I swore myself to never love someone again. I was only five. My pain was real. My tears were real.

My seconds foster family was totally different. They were never violent but they let me feel I didn't belong there. They let me feel I was not good enough to join their family in any way. They let me feel that they loved their childen but I was mainly there for the money and nothing else. They let me feel that taking care of me wasn't of great importance for them. I was beaten down with words and looks and feelings of hate towards me. That was the first time in my life that I experienced hunger. They just forgot. Their gazes sometimes haunted me in my dreams.

While talking about my third foster family I started shaking. Edward did what he did best. Calming me. Stroking my hair. Rubbing my back. Whispering sweet words. Humming.

My third foster family I ran away from. They were violent. They were cruel. They hated children. They hated me. I never understood why. I was beaten and kicked and called names. I was used to clean the house. I was locked into my room and kept there for hours with no way of escaping. I remember crying and screaming and kicking. When I was 15 I ran away. Away from the house and the people that would haunt me until the rest of my life.

I spent the three years until I was 18 in another foster home. The conditions were better there. I was able to take care of the little ones. Children are loving and grateful and sweet and trusting if you let them be. I met Angela during my last year there. We decided to rent an apartment together. It was hard to get one but even harder to keep it. We worked a lot just to survive.

While I told the story I didn't have any horrifying flashbacks like I normally had. I didn't feel like the wind was knocked out of me and I was chocking. I didn't feel the despair I normally felt whenever I thought about those years. I didn't mourn the loss of my childhood or my parents. All I felt while telling the story where his hands in my hair, his hands gripping my hands and his eyes locking with mine, promising me a future brighter than I'd ever dreamed of.

Whenever I had nightmares now and woke up gasping he was right there. He was there taking me into his arms and playing with my hair. And whenever I laid my head on his chest and heard his heartbeat, a sound I was so familiar with and that never failed to calm me down, everything was right again.

I could feel the tears trickling down my face during my story. I felt raw. My emotions that had been held in for so long streaming out of me. All the anger and hurt and resentment and pain manifesting in my tears. My tears that were kissed away by the lips that I loved more than anything. By the lips that knew how to kiss away all my pain in a matter of seconds. By the lips that made me whole and healed me in a way no other lips ever could.

Edward smiled at me through his own teary eyes and said the words I'd longed to say myself for weeks now, "I love you, my angel."

And I kissed him and over his lip, in a whisper, I said, "I love you too."


	5. Chapter 4

_**A/N:**_ Thanks for the support :)

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing Stephenie Meyer or Twilight related.

**Chapter 4:**

He started talking a week after I did. One second I was in the kitchen making sandwiches for us, the next second he grabbed me, put me on the counter and just stared at me with teary eyes. I didn't know what to say. I never know what to say. He renders me speechless. The incredible sadness and despair that radiated off him rendered me speechless. So I tried to comfort him with my eyes. He buried his face in my shoulder and carried me to the couch.

I ran my hand through his hair. I stroked his back. I sat in his lap and stared into his eyes. I kissed his lips. My lips caressing his lips. Grounding him. Calming him. He kissed back with a fevor. He put all his love and passion and pain and despair into the kiss and I took it all in. I wanted to take his pain away. Like he had done for me.

He ran his hand through his hair. Took my hand. Kissed it. Put it back into his hair. Smiled. And the sadness returned with full force when he said, "I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you as well. I can't." And all I did was kiss him and say, "You won't. You won't. You won't." over and over again.

My chest hurt looking into his sad eyes. My chest. My heart. My head. I desperately wanted to make it better. Had to make it better. For him. For the one I loved. For the one I lived for.

"I was a happy child. I had all the things so many children didn't have – you didn't have. I was loved. I was appreciated. Even though I always stood in the shadow of my big brother.", his voice broke at 'brother'. And the first tears spilled over. And I kissed them away and hummed. And I wanted to take his pain away. Like he had done for me.

"You had a brother.", I whispered. It was a statement. "Emmett died when I was 15. A car accident. He drove my car. My car that was old and rusty and I refused to part from because I had put it together with him. My car that killed him.

I was in school and as soon as someone called me out of class I knew that something bad must've happened. He was my rock. My idol. My best friend.

When he died my whole family fell apart. I started partying a lot. I did drugs and tried to forget. My dad started drinking. In secret. And my mom started taking medication. I often wouldn't see them for days. I was non-existent for them. I tried to tell them I was there and I needed them but they wouldn't listen. Couldn't. They were too caught up in their own pain. And I was mourning the loss of my family. My whole family.", his eyes squeezed shut and he shuddered and I sat there and kissed his mouth, his nose, his forehead, his cheeks and whispered, "I love you, I love you, I love you.", over and over again.

"There were times when I would miss Emmett to the point of real, phsyical pain. The first few times I thought I'd had some kind of heart attack. I got used to it. The pain was there.. Constantly. Never fading. Never getting better. The pain over losing my brother. The pain over losing my mother. The pain over losing my father.

We fought a lot. They blamed me. Not openly but I could see it in their eyes. I blamed myself too. At that time I would've given anything to be the one that got killed that afternoon. I would've given my life for him. But I couldn't."

I was trying to hold back tears. I needed to be strong for him. He looked into my eyes. I smiled. He smiled. "I can see him in your eyes. You're the angel he sent to take care of me. To build me back up. To make me happy again.", and he kissed my eyelids and whispered, "My angel."

"When I was eighteen my dad started talking about colleges and that I'd have to choose the right one to study all that economic shit he does. You have to know my family is rich. Very rich. They own firms all over the world. The thing is, Emmett, he wanted to take over. He wanted to be that business man and lead that life. He wanted to travel the world and order the people around. I, on the other hand, always only wanted to play. Ever since I'd had piano lessons all I wanted to be was a composer. When I talked to my dad about it he freaked. We fought. We screamed. I told him I'd apply to his universities. I wanted my dad to love me again. I ached to be loved and appreciated again. So I did. I applied to all the universities he wanted me to. And I applied to Julliard.

You have to understand, angel. That was my dream. Emmett understood that. He always wanted me to be happy. And I wanted to be happy. Julliard would've made me happy. My dad was furious when I told him I'd go there. We fought. We screamed. We let our fists do the talking. And I ran. Away. Just away."

He was stiff with anger. His muscles in his arms strained. I stroked over them. He relaxed. Put his head on my chest. Breathed deeply. Breathed me in.

"That's how I got here. I had to get away from all the pain and anger and resentment and fucked-up family life. Away from feeling guilty and tears and all that sadness.

I pulled through with playing on weddings, bar mizvahs and clubs. But that's all I did. Pull through. I didn't live. Until I set foot into that coffeeshop and decided to talk about coffee with you every day.", his smile was gorgeous. "You are the best decision I've ever made."

And looking at him with all this sadness and happiness surrounding him I wanted to be his rock. I wanted to chase his bad dreams away. I needed to be his angel.


	6. Chapter 5

**_A/N_**: Going to post an edited version soon (because I have a beta now. My sweet friend Luce. Thanks for doing this even though you're busy 3)

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related.

Chapter 5:

"Take the day off." That's how every day began. He asked. Next was the "pleaaase". He begged. He pouted. Sometimes I wouldn't let him get to the pout. Sometimes I'd just get up. It was hard. But the pout always convinced me.

He also loved to play "5 more minutes". Every day. Including saturdays and sundays. And it didn't stay at 5 minutes. And he didn't give up. Ever. I loved it.

What I loved most about "5 more minutes" was the way he held me. While sleeping he held me as if he was afraid of me running away. Whenever I moved his whole body strained. He also talked in his sleep. About me. About Emmett. Mostly about me though. When I first heard it my heart was beating out of my chest and my hands got sweaty. I felt like a teenager talking to their crush. He was my first crush.

He also loved to lay his head on my chest while sleeping. We always fell asleep with my head on his chest and woke up the other way around. My heartbeat calmed him. His heartbeat calmed me. Grounded me. Made me feel at home. Alive. Happy.

Some rational part of my brain told me from time to time that this was happening too fast. I wouldn't listen. Wouldn't. Couldn't. Didn't want to. I was happy for the first time in my life. He made me feel things I didn't think were possible.

"Take the day off. Pleeeease." And I looked into his eyes and saw the playfulness and longing and want there and I got up and straddled him. And we kissed, and touched and kisses and touches turned into more. I did call in sick that day.

"Oh my god stop being that stupid. You can't be serious.", I said and looked at him with the most serious expression I could muster. He smirked. "I am. We've gone through this before. I will not buy a pizza with nothing but cheese on it. That is disgusting." – "You're not my father, you know?" – "And we should thank god for that everyday, angel." I tried my best to glare at him. But I couldn't look at him and not smile.

We were currently grocery shopping. And bickering in the middle of the store. We did that a lot. Bicker. Back and forth and back and forth. It was our thing.

He cocked his head to the side and looked at me. "You really want it don't you?" – "I looove it. You have to try it Edward. It's delicious like that. Pleeeease?", and I tried to pout like he did and when I saw his eyes soften, more so than they already had, I knew I'd one this battle. One of many. "Kay." – "Okay?" He pushed me into one of the shelves then, put his head in the crook of my neck, inhaled, kissed me there until my knees buckled out under me and breathed into my ear, "You'll get your cheese pizza, angel." And he looked at me. I bit my lip. "You mad?" And he freed my lip with his thumb, kissed it and said, "Never, angel. Never."

"Let's be honest here, I only got into this "exclusive club" because I'm with you.". – "Shut up.", he said and kissed my nose. "You're beautiful. You'd get into every club." All I could do was roll my eyes.

We were currently at some club for rich, stuck up, complacent people. He played here tonight. For those rich, stuck up, complacent people. I was only allowed in the club because I was with him but it was okay.

I walked into the hall and towards the bar. I couldn't afford anything other than a water. He walked onto the stage with a breathtaking smile. A beathtaking smile and confidence. Before he sat down he smiled at me. He started playing with a breathtaking smile. A breathtaking smile and confidence.

A hand snaked itself around my waist. It felt wrong. Everything about this situation felt wrong.

Someone breathed into my ear. It felt all wrong. It wasn't the right kind of breath. The right kind of breath was sitting on that stage. "Hello beautiful."

I stiffened and I couldn't bring myself to losen up. I didn't want to ruin this for him. The flashbacks came. They didn't stop. The person that made them stop wasn't here.

I was a aware of everything and everyone around me. People were oblivious. He was gripping my hip. It hurt. He was breathing against my neck. Every breath made goosebumps appear on my skin. Not the good kind. Not the kind of goosebumps I got when Edward touched me. When he kissed me. When we cuddled. When he breathed onto my neck. When he just looked at me. With love. So much love in his eyes.

I considered my options. I didn't want to ruin this for Edward. He needed the money. He wanted to do it. This was his passion. He loved to play. He loved to play his own compositions. He could do that here. He could do that and have people appreciate it.

I could just let this man touch me until Edward was done. I could do that.

But then I considered another option. Because I had grown. He had helped me grow and he had grown with me. I was a stronger woman now and I wouldn't let anyone intimidate me. I would try to tell him off and just in case he didn't listen I could fight. Knee him in the groin. Make a scene out of it.

And I did. And when finally the right arm snaked around my waist I turned around and smiled into his chest. He kissed my hair and said, "Watcha smiling about?" - "You." – "Me?" – "You."

And he looked into my eyes and I tried to put my love in there. Tried. Succeeded. "I love you too."

And I knew he did.

It was a saturday and we were cuddling in bed while making fun of reality shows. That was our thing. Bickering. Making fun of people. He got agitated as well. A few times. Over their stupidity. And I laughed and giggled and snickered because he was just too cute for words.

I loved to talk about my future with him. We did that a lot as well. I would lay in his arms, on the couch, and the TV would be on and we would just talk about our future.

Whether we wanted to get married someday. "Only you, angel.", was his reply. Whether we wanted to have kids, "Only with you, angel.", was his reply again. And then he began to talk about how our children would look like and the house he would build for me and about the bright, happy future he would give me. He never talked about grandparents for our children. I knew he wanted to. I knew he missed them. I didn't say anything though.

We laid there and made fun of people, talked about what the future would bring and were just happy.

That was the morning that burst our bubble of bliss.

I was just getting up to make breakfast. I wanted to make something special for him. I was getting the peanut butter out. He just loved peanut butter to death. It was his first love. Even before me. Edward was in the shower and the phone rang so I just answered and the voice and message that filtered through the speaker made me freeze, "Hello. This is Esme Cullen. I'm searching for my son."


	7. Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer**_: I own nothing Stephenie Meyer or Twilight related.

Chapter 6:

I froze. Time froze. My blood froze cold. Everything froze. I knew this could change everything. I don't know if I wanted things to change. I was happy. For the first time in my life I was happy. I didn't want that to change.

I don't know how I managed to write down her number. I did though. I scribbled it onto some bill I found next to the phone. All my brain could think of was how much this could change our lives. I was terrified of change. All my life change had held some bad aspects. Taking risks was something negativ for me. Except in Edward's case. Taking that risk was the best thing I'd ever done.

When he came out of the shower, his jeans hanging low on his hips. I didn't know whether I should jump him or tell him. I was the one that had to turn his whole life around. Make all the bad emotions come back. Guilt. Pain. Longing. I didn't know if I wanted to tell him. Our bubble didn't need to be bursted. We were happy.

My expression alarmed him though, "Angel? What happened?" And it just spilled out, "Your mom called."

And he froze. Time froze. Everything froze once again. And I stepped up to him and took his hands and kissed his knuckles. I held his hands to my cheeks and said, "I have her number. She said you should call her." – "I don't know if I want to." – "That's okay. The decision is all yours. I'm here. No matter what." And the pained look in his eyes returned and he looked at me and pain mixed with love. He grabbed me and carried me to the counter. Sat me down. Put his head on my chest. Breathed deeply. I ran my fingers through his hair. Massaged his temples. Ran my nails over his back. Goosebumps. And he relaxed.

And we carried on. As if nothing had happened. We went to work. We bought groceries. We kissed. We touched. We loved. We lived our every day life. But it was always on the back of our minds.

When I approached the subject once he reacted poorly, "I don't know what I want of feel. I want to call and I don't. I want to ask them what made them kick out their only son. If they ever missed me like I did because you have no idea how much I miss my family angel. No idea. They were everything to me. I want to ask them if they ever regretted it. I want to have them back and I want to have them out of my life forever. I'm still thinking. Considering. All I know is that I want you, angel. With me."

That was the moment I realized I would do everything for him. I would do everything to make him happy. And if that meant putting my own fears and needs aside and giving him all the support and thought I had then that's what I would do.

"You have me. Always. I will follow you. Wherever you go." He smiled at that. Kissed me on the lips. Carried me into the bedroom and made me forget.

Two weeks later I was cleaning up the bedroom. He was at work. Playing at some wedding. I always waited for him. Couldn't fall asleep without him. When he did come home he stormed in and looked at me with his lost-boy-look.

"Do you think they miss me? Still love me? Regret what they did? Do you think I should go for it. Let them back in even though they've hurt me more than anyone else ever could?"

His voice broke a few times. His eyes were shimmering with tears. I could see all the years of guilt and pain and longing in them. Guilt for thinking to be the one to kill his brother. Guilt for thinking he was the one that destroyed his family. Guilt for going all those years without making amends. Without trying to contact them. For being the stubborn one. Pain for thinking they didn't want him anymore. Thinking they didn't care. Didn't love their own child. Pain for losing his brother. For losing his whole family. For losing their love. And longing to get his family back. At least what's left of it. I knew he wanted them back. And I wanted him to have them back. He loved them. He missed them. He would do anything to get them back. It was just his pride standing in the way. I knew what I had to do.

I walked towards him. Sat him down on the bed. Crawled into his lap and took his head into my hands and said, "I think they love you. I think they miss you. I think they want you back."

He stared. And stared. And said, "I wanna call my mom. I wanna see what she has to say. Her end of the story. It's now or never."

_**A/N:**_ Bella as well as Edward are going through quite the transformation in this chapter it seems. I will update again on Wednesday and afterwards we'll have a little break since I finals are coming my way :/


	8. Chapter 7

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing Twilight and Stephenie Meyer related.

Chapter 7:

I could see my hand shaking. It was more of a seeing than a feeling. What I could feel though was her holding my left hand. Embracing me in her awkward Bella way. My left arm pressed against my body, her body pressing against mine and her right hand embracing my back. She was grounding me and whispering, "I love you. I'm here." over and over again her lips pressed against my arm. Sometimes she didn't even realize she was doing it. Sometimes her lips would form the words "I love you." unconsciously. Not only while she was sleeping. Sometimes also when she was just looking at me. It made me love her even more.

I looked at the sheet again. Her adorable scribble. It's not like I needed to. I had the number memorized. I don't know why it took me that long to get my shit together. I knew I wanted them back. Maybe I even needed it to be fully happy again. I was a family person and even though we weren't perfect, we were a good family before everything went down. They took their time for us. They loved us. And I wanted that back. Even though I didn't know how to forgive them.

After three more minutes of "I love you"s and awkward back hugging and a kiss on top of her head I dialed the number and I waited. And then there was a "Cullen." and all I could do was breathe into the phone because that voice brought enormous pain with it. And I saw her cheering for me, I could smell her infamous chocolate chip cookies, I could see her proud face when Emmett graduated and I could see the absolute devastation and agony when she had to bury her son, the hollowness in her eyes for years after it happened. I could see the dissapointment in her eyes everytime so looked at me. I could hear her telling me that my life was with the family and the only way that was possible was by taking over the firms. I could hear her screams when my father hit me and I could hear her sobs when I left. She didn't come after me though. She didn't fight for me. She never searched for her only son. She let her 18 year old son leave his home and start a new life without any friends, without a family that supported him.

That was something I wouldn't forgive that easily. I couldn't.

"Edward? I was hoping you'd call. I was hoping." – "Hello, mother." It was her turn to breathe into the phone. Tears stung my eyes, "I want you to know that I'm still hurt and mad and every other thing I have the right to be but I missed you and dad. A lot." – "We do too, honey. We do but you have to see our side of the…" – "I don't."

And the tension was back. And this time I was not the one breaking it. I was not the one giving in and I was not the one whose emotions were trampled on. I loved them with all my heart. I wanted them back with everything in me but I wouldn't fight the same fight again.

"You have a girlfriend?" – "I have." – "Do you want to tell me about her or… I don't know how to do this. Your father and I missed you. We love you and we are sorry for pushing you away. We don't regret wanting you to take over but we regret the way we wanted to force you to do it and…", her voice broke, "I regret not going after you."

"Her name is Bella.", I looked down at her and smiled. "She's beautiful and kind and all the things I was searching for." – "I'm glad you found someone."

And that's how we started talking again. And everday we talked a bit more. I talked to my dad only once. It was strained. But we talked and it was more than I expected.

She was smiling at me from across the kitchen her hand full of dough. "Don't do it.", I said. "You wouldn't dare." We were currently making chocolate chip cookies. After some teasing and some more teasing from my part we got to where we were right now. Me slowly moving towards her. Her smiling, biting her lip in the way that made me want to fall to her knees and confess my undying love to her, and her hand full of dough waiting to be thrown in my direction.

And then the twinkle in her eyes got bigger and she moved towards me. I got suspicious but couldn't bring myself to move. She was too adorable. I couldn't ruin this for her. She moved until she was standing right in front of me. And she started kissing my neck and all thought left me. And then she smeared her hand full of dough into my face and giggled into my neck. And when she looked at me she snorted and giggled and that full turned into full blown laughter.

It made my knees weak and my stomach flutter and even though all I wanted to do was laugh with her I took the flour and poured it over her head. And she gasped and coughed and spluttered and snorted and started laughing. And I moved towards her and she ran and we I finally catched her I got the kiss I had been waiting for ever since we started this play. Her tongue moved into my mouth and did things to my heart. And she smiled into the kiss. I took her shirt and pulled it over her head. And we made love there, on the living room floor.

When we were cleaned up and lay in bed all content I decided it was time to tell her. I knew she would support me. She always did. "My parents want us to visit them." She rolled over and looked at me with loving but fearful eyes. "You want to go home?" – "No. I want US to go home." I kissed her nose. "Okay.", was all she said and it was enough.

**Important A/N:** I probably won't be able to update again until next tuesday or wednesday. Blame school not me ;) I hope you'll stay with me till then. Things are starting to get interesting now.


	9. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing Stephenie Meyer or Twilight related.

Chapter 8:

I hugged Angela. We promised to keep in touch since I didn't know how long I'd be gone. Maybe for a week. Maybe for months. Maybe forever. I just knew that she was my first real friend and I would never forget about her. We had been meeting up for coffee and I told her about Edward's and my plans to go visit his parents. She didn't say anything. She just said she'd miss me. I'd miss her too. She was my friend. My first one.

I thought about the turns my life had taken, while walking home. I didn't know why I dreaded going to New York so much. I just did.

It's been two weeks since Edward decided we were going to visit his family. I knew he was scared. Scared and happy and terrified and excited. I was happy for him. In a way I really was. And I wouldn't ruin this for him. It was all he ever wanted. To have a family again.

We'd be staying at a hotel. He said he wanted to check the waters before actually staying there again. Staying. Living. Moving. I don't know which one he meant and I tried not to overthink. Tried not to overthink what it would mean for me. I knew he loved me. That's what counted.

He was scared of getting hurt again. I tried to reassure him. Even though I didn't know how it would end. I was hoping for the best. I was preparing for the worst. I was ready. I just wish I could take all his pain away. Pain and insecurities and doubts. He shouldn't doubt himself.

He said that even if things didn't work out it would change nothing. We could be happy together. We would be happy together. I knew something would be missing. The extra special sparkle in his eyes would be missing and he would always mourn the happy little family he had once had. In a way I knew what he felt. I still mourned my first foster family. I knew the feeling of loss he felt all the time. I just couldn't imagine how much worse it must be for him. His own flesh and blood chasing him away. Not wanting him anymore.

I was supposed to be packing. He thought I was packing. We were going to leave tomorrow. What I really was, was nervous. Scared. Terrified. Of change. There was nothing I was more afraid of than of change. It was the scariest thing that could happen to me. It's what scares every human being. Change is scary.

"Watcha thinking?", he asked. He was leaning in the doorway. Hands crossed across his chest. Looking delicious as ever. Looking at me with those eyes. Looking into my soul. My heart.

"About you. Us. The future." – "Again?", I just looked down at the carpet and followed it's pattern with my eyes. "Tell what's been bothering you." I wanted to. I really wanted to tell him but I was scared.

"Nothing is. I'm fine." – "You know, you're the only person that can take the word fine and twist it. Your lips do this turn downwards when you lie. And you wrinkle your little nose." I bit my lip. He came around and stood in front of me. He stood. And waited for me to look up. I didn't want to. But I couldn't not.

He took my bottom lip and freed it from it's prison between my lips and then he pecked it. Only my bottom lip. And then my nose. It made me smile. He made me smile. Always. His eyes explored mine. Searching for answers.

"I'm just worried what's gonna happen when we're there. I mean I believe that everything;s gonna be good but still. I don't know. I'm scared." – "Of change." It wasn't a question. It was a simple statement. He knew me. He knew of all my fears and thoughts and he understood. And he never judged. And he never made me feel dumb. He just took me in his arms and whispered, "You know that I wouldn't be able to do this without you right?", and he didn't wait for an answer. "You're my rock."

And all I could do was smile into his shirt and hope for the best.

We were getting into his car. We decided we were going to drive since it was cheaper. We couldn't afford plane tickets. I was getting into the car and I knew I would never return to the live I was leaving that second. Whether that change was going to be a good or a bad one I didn't know yet.

_**A/N:**_ This was more or less a filler I know I just wanted to update today since I haven't in over a week. Hope next update is gonna be tomorrow.


	10. Chapter 9

_**Disclaimer**_: I own nothing Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related.

Chapter 9

He was nervous the first time he knocked. When we first drove up the long driveway his hands were shaking and he was sweating. Scared of them and their reaction and also scared of his feelings. It got better the more often we visited them.

When we first drove up the long dirveway my hands were shaking with his. I was scared of change and this would definitely change my life. For better or for worse. Maybe I'd be able to gain a set of parents. I wanted to hope for that. Maybe I could learn to love them and they could learn to love me as a second daughter. I wanted to hope but didn't allow myself to hope.

The first time was the hardest for him. It got better after that. For him. Not for me.

The first time we got there his mom greeted him with so much love it hurt my heart. And she tried to greet me with the same love. I could see that she tried. But in her eyes I saw the distrust and disapproval. Distrusting me and my intention with her son. Distrusting my ability to love her son. Disapproval of our relationship and disapproval of me being her son's girlfriend. Disapproval because I was the one who had won her son's heart.

I only really understood those things later. All I felt in that moment was her surprise of me being there as well. She hadn't thought that I'd actually come with Edward.

We didn't stay long the first time. Edward mostly talked to his mom. They talked about casual things. His life. Their life. She hugged him a lot. Squeezed herself in between him and myself. I sat on the couch and drank my wine. Was silent. Only spoke when spoken too. Which wasn't very often.

Edward touched me whenever he could. Held my hand. Played with my hair. Tried to thank me for being here through his touch. Tried to tell me I wasn't forgotten.

When we got back to the hotel room he was happy. Really, truly happy. It made me happy and I tried to forget about my anxiety and all the bad feelings. We took a bath together and he told me all about his feelings and intentions and thoughts of the future. I listened and smiled because that's what made him happy. And I was determined to do everything to make him happy.

From there on we visited his parents every few day. Edward said he wanted to work on rebuilding his relationship. I smiled and told him to do what he thought was best. I would be here as long as he needed me. "I will always need you. Always." , looking deep into my eyes I believed him. "I love you." He took my hand, pulled into his arms and sighed into my hair, "My angel."

When we went there a second time Edward's father wanted to talk to him in his office. After a kiss in the forehead I was left alone. In the hallway. I didn't know where to go so I went into the kitchen. His mother looked me over and smiled. It wasn't a genuine smile. She offered me something to drink and after I got the drink she excused herself. I was left alone again. In the kitchen.

When Edward came back he was smiling. Beaming. "What did he say?", I whispered. "Sorry. He said sorry.", and his watery eyes told me how much that meant to him. How much he had needed this.

During dinner I was hardly ever talked to. I was okay with that. I was awkward and nervous. Still I wished they would show some kind of interest in the woman their son claimed he loved. Edward held my hand under the table the whole time. Reassured me. Loved me.

When I talked to Edward about his parents' he said they'd need time. Time to get to know him again. The new him. The real him. And that they'd need time to warm up to me. He said it was overwhelming for them as well. And he smiled at me with that special smile that made me forget my own name. And he kissed me and his tongue did things that made my toes curl. And then he made me forget about all my insecurities.

After a few weeks Edward said that he'd want to try and find an apartment to stay in for a while. He didn't want to go back. He wanted to stay in NYC for a while. I agreed. I always agreed and smiled because that's what made him happy. I found a job in a bookshop. His parents got him a few jobs. We lived comfortably, with the support of his parents.

"I don't know what to wear." I looked at him expectantly. He didn't react. "I said I don't know what to wear." Nothing. I kicked his foot. "Shit. What?" I tried to look pissed. I really did but he was too cute looking all confused and pissed. I cracked a smile. He cracked a smile and pulled me towards him by my hips. I fell onto his lap and straddled him. "You look beautiful whatever you wear.", he whispered into my ear. It made me shiver. A good shiver.

"That doesn't exactly help my case." – "Wear nothing." – "Shut up." – "You're the prettiest when you wear nothing." – "Shut up." – "I mean it." With that I got up and got dressed.

On our way to his parents my hands got sweaty and I started fidgeting. "What's up?", he asked smiling sweetly. "I don't know. Just a weird feeling." And he took my hand, kissed it and calmed me down with his glances that said "I love you."

When we entered his parents' house and I heard the sound of female laughter though I knew that things would change once again.

**A/N: **So it took me two days. Sorry. Won't be able to update tomorrow since it's a family day. I don't know how much longer this is gonna be. I always planned it to be a really short fic. Are you all excited for the MTVMAS tomorrow? I'm preeeeetty excited.


	11. Chapter 10

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related.

Chapter 10:

The voice was melodic. Pretty. Beautiful. A beautiful voice. Belonging to a beautiful girl. Her name was Kate and she was an old family friend. Her family knew Edward's family. She was also one of Edward's friends. A good friend. He said she'd had a little crush on him when they were younger. He said that with a smile and a kiss. A kind smile that told me that that lay in the past. And a kiss that made me forget that there ever was a time in my life without him.

He told me of her after our first dinner together. Our first dinner consisting of Eward, Kate, Edward's parents and me. I don't know why she was invited. He said she was a family friend. A dear one. And that's she'd come over for dinner every once in a while. He said that his mom loved her and had always loved the idea of her and him together. He said it as if that lay in the past. I didn't think so. It made me uneasy.

Apparently she was the daughter of the Denali's. Mr Denali and Mr Cullen were in college together. They shared a dorm and were best friends all throughout college. They tried to start a company together but failed within a few months. So each of them did it seperately. And they succeeded. Strangely enough they never saw each other as rivals but stayed friends through it all. Edward said they always thought about merging their companies but never actually did it.

Mrs Denali and Mrs Cullen met through their husbands friendship and fell in love with each other. Apparently they met up once a week for lunch and often took their children with them. That's how Kate and Edward met.

During that first dinner together Kate and Edward talked a lot. I didn't like it. I didn't show it. They had a lot to catch up to. They shared old stories. They laughed. They bonded. I didn't really like it but I accepted it because Kate, like his mother or father, were a part of his past. A part of his past that accepted him back in. That could accept him back in. And I was grateful for that. She made him smile.

She, like everyone else except Edward, ignored my presence during the first course. She didn't do it in a mean way. I just didn't come up. But while we waited for the second one she turned her attention to me and started asking me questions. Some of them I answered myself. Some of them Edward answered. And some of them Mrs Cullen answered. She didn't answer them with a smile like Edward did. She was merely stating the facts she knew.

Kate was never shooting me glances like Mr Cullen did though. She never ignored my presence consciously like Mrs Cullen did. She tried to involve me into the conversations. Tried to lure me out of my shell, tried to break the walls down that I built up everytime there were more people than Edward and me in a room. She tried to get to know me.

On our way home from the first dinner with Kate Edward asked me what I thought about her. "She's nice." – "She is." – "She's pretty." – "She is?", and he looked at me with that sparkle in his eyes. He was teasing. I punched his arm, "Shut up." – "I didn't notice." – "Of course you did. You're a man." – "A man that had to keep himself from staring at your boobs all evening." I giggled and blushed. "You know I love your boobs." – "Oh my god shut up now and pay attention to the road."

When we were home he asked me again if I liked her. "Yes, I do. She's sweet and intelligent and nice." – "Good. She was my best friend. I want you to like her." – "I do.", I said and tried to keep the bad feelings I was feeling out of my voice.

The second dinner with Kate was with Edward's parents and Kate's parents. After the introductions Kate's mother ignored my presence altogether. I prefered it that way. Her and Esme together were making me uneasy. They were the perfect wives. Proper. Always smiling. Tattletales.

The second dinner Kate once again sat opposite Edward and me and once again she engaged me in conversation. I started to like her more and more as I realized she was the opposite of her mother. She was like Edward. Opinionated. Not opposed to having fun. Loving. The first time ever since I stepped a foot into the Cullens' home I felt appreciated and welcome.

After dinner Edward along with his father and Mr Denali stepped outside to smoke. I stayed inside with Kate and we talked. We talked about our hobbies and lives and likes and dislikes and she asked me out for lunch sometime this week. I accepted gladly. I started seeing her as a friend but every once in a while I would catch her looking out the huge glass wall and look at Edward with that look of adoration in her eyes. And that uneasy feeling would return.


	12. Chapter 11

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing Stephenie Meyer or Twilight related.

Chapter 11:

„Can you please, please tell me?" – "What?" – "You know exactly what.", I narrowed my eyes at him. Slapped his arm. He took it. Kissed my hand. Each knuckle seperately. "I don't know what you're talking about." – "I know you two talk on the phone. You know I'm not stupid and I won't say anything because I know she's your friend even though I have all these weird feelings but please tell me where she wants to take me because I'm nervous. You know I get nervous. God you can be such a jerk." I tried to slam the door shut behind me. I didn't do it nearly as forcefully as I would've liked.

I was supposed to meet up with Kate for lunch today and even though I liked her, I genuinely did, I was nervous. Nervous of her not liking me anymore after this. Nervous because this was her territory. Nervous because she knew Edward in a way I would never know him. Nervous because she liked him, maybe even loved him.

Edward couldn't come. He was supposed to go golfing with his dad and some of his collegues. I was alone with her. It was a first. I hadn't really found friends yet in the city. Apart from my few collegues from work I didn't really talk to anyone that wasn't related to or befriended with Edward. Even with those I didn't talk a lot.

I heard him knock on the door and asked if he could come in. I just sat on the bed and stared at my fidgeting hands. I knew I overreacted. I knew he wasn't a jerk. He was just a man. He didn't overthink. At least not in the way I did. He didn't need to worry about his awkwardness. He was always so sure of himself.

I hadn't really talked to him about my feelings a lot before. Just here and there I let it slip that I was uncomfortable around his mom but I didn't really want to mention it. He was happy. It was supposed to stay that way.

I stood up and slowly walked towards the door, opened it and walked back to sit on the bed again. He walked in hesitantly. Looked at me. Studied me. Sat down beside me and took my fidgeting hands. "She's going to take you to get some lunch and after that you're just going bowling. She wanted you to be comfortable." I started playing with his fingers. The tears were threatning to fall. I didn't want him to see them. "I'm sorry, angel." – "No I'm sorry."

He lay me down on the bed an hovered over me. "Okay so what is this about.", he kissed my nose. "Why are you nervous?", he kissed my eyelids. "What are you hiding in that pretty little head of yours?", he kissed my forehead.

"She makes me nervous. She's too nice. She's your ex-girlfriend and she's too nice." – "She's not my ex. We were never together." – "She liked you though. She still does." – "Bella, you know that that's not important. I only care about one heart." I smiled through my tears. He had a way of making me smile through everything.

"So what else. This is not only about Kate." I began to fidget again. Look anywhere but into his eyes. He grabbed my chin. In a sweet way. Coaxed my lips open with his lips. Calmed me and excited me at the same time. Made my heart race. Made my hands stop fidgeting. He lay down beside me. I put my head on his chest. My hand over his heart. It was racing. It made me smile.

"Your mom doesn't like me. Your parents don't like me. Your dad shoots me all those glares and your mom flat out ignores me. And I'm sorry because I know you love them and I'll make more of an effort to make them…", he put his hand over my mouth. "I noticed." Silence. Uncomfortable silence. We didn't have uncomfortable silence. Shaky breaths. On both parts. "Angel, I'm sorry I should've said something to them. This is not fair to you. I'm gonna talk to them. I promise." – "You don't have to do that." – "I want to. You're my girlfriend. The love of my life. You shouldn't have to feel this way." – "It's okay. I can deal with it. I can even make more of an effort to get to know her. It's okay." I cupped his cheek. "I love you. Don't worry about me. You be happy and resolve everything with your family. I'll be here by your side." I kissed him. First on the chin. Then on the nose. The on the mouth. He murmured into the kiss, "I know. You'll always be here." I murmured back, "I will. For as long as you need me."


	13. Chapter 12

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing Stephenie Meyer or Twilight related.

**A/N:** Sorry for the long wait for this. Was in London for a week. Omg that city :') So beautiful. So here it is. Kinda a filler.

Chapter 12:

I stood in front of the restaurant dressed in black jeans and a white blouse. I took the subway on my way here. All the while I had to think about my first subway ride with Edward. Here in New York. He wanted to take me sightseeing. He kissed me the whole way through it. He said he'd have to mark his territory. That there were a lot of pervs on the subway. I said I didn't believe him. "Hush or I'll let them get you." And he kissed me.

He insisted we go do all the tourist-y things. He showed me everything in 2 days. I loved it. We strolled through the streets. Lay down in Central Park. Sang in front of the theatres on broadway. Laughed. Held hands. Kissed. Enjoyed our time.

I was pulled out of my daydreaming by Kate coming towards me. A mixture between walking and running. In heels. She smiled at me. Hugged me. Told me I looked great when in all reality she was the one looking great. I felt comfort in her hug though. And I decided to make the effort. The effort to become her friend. To love her like a friend. Because she was loveable. Because I needed a friend. And because I needed to be her friend to save mine and Edward's relationship.

We talked about anything and everything. Mostly about Edward. He was the one thing we had in common. She told me stories of their childhood together. How Edward and Emmett used to get in trouble. Who Edward's first girlfiend was. How Edward's second girlfriend was a bitch. How Edward had changed after Emmett's death. How Edward was nearly back to his old self now. As she told me this she sat there with a lot emotion in her eyes. Pain. Regret. A little bit of jealousy. And love.

I felt a lot of emotions too. Love. Pain. All for Edward. I was jealous as well. Of Kate and her relationship with Edward. Of Kate and her perfect-ness. How she loved Edward. How she was loved by his parents. How she had a history with him. How she would suit him perfectly. How she would fit perfectly. In his life.

That was the first time I thought about the possibilites Edward would have with her. About how his family would be ecstatic. About how he could go to cocktail parties and not have a clingy girlfriend that felt uncomfortable with herself. With her situation. With the people around her. A girlfriend who would know what to talk about and how to talk to people. A girlfriend that would love him and cherish him, even if not as much as I did because I did not think there was a single person on this planet that could love him as much as I did, but she would love him in her own way and make him happy.

I quickly dismissed the thought but it lingered and it starting eating away at me.

After shopping Kate and I went to a bowling hall where she introduced me to some of her friends. They were all the pretty and popular kind. I liked them. They were all nice. Friendly. And tried to make me feel at home but I didn't know how to have a friend. I didn't know how to have more than one.

When I got home that night Edward lay on the sofa watching TV. I kicked my shoes off and put the bag down before snuggling into him. "How was your day?" – "Hmmm. Yours?" – Silence. Uncomfortable silence. "Interesting."

I looked up and looked into his eyes. What I saw there made me uneasy. It was a mixture of pain and reassurance and love and sadness. He looked at me and kissed me. Slowly. He cherished me. Showed me he loved me. Told me he loved me in between kisses.

"What happened?", I asked but my question wasn't answered until a week afterwards.


	14. Chapter 13

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing Stephenie Meyer or Twilight related.

We were on our way to have dinner at the Cullen's. I was uncomfortable. Edward was uncomfortable. He had been uncomfortable all week. Uncomfortable. Tense. Looking angry. When I asked him he just said, "It's nothing you have to worry about." and then he made it clear that the anger wasn't directed at me. Either through kisses or… other things. I believed him. It didn't stop my worrying tho. My mind made up all of those bad scenarios. Each of them including his dad and Mr. Denali. They must've been part of the problem since he had acted weird ever since the three of them went golfing. I told him about my suspicion.

_We were walking around Central Park. We had never given up our walks. __They were something we just did. We hardly ever took the subway or went somewhere by car, bus or taxi. We walked. Walking was our thing. It brought us together. Walking and talking and just being. _

_We were walking and holding hands and he was awfully quiet once again. It wasn't our usual quiet. Usually it would be a comfortable silence. Almost like we had nothing of importance left to say. We just knew. He knew what I thought and I knew what he thought. But lately that hadn't been the case. His expressions and moods had left me in the dark and when I tried to talk with him about it he shut down. _

_I was determined not to stop trying tho. I wouldn't. I couldn't. Too much depended on it and I knew that. I felt it in his every touch and kiss and carress and look. This was pretty big and he was scared. I just didn't know what he was scared of._

"_So I was just wondering…"_

_He didn't even look at me._

_He was lost._

_In his own head._

"_Edward?"_

_Nothing._

_I stopped walking and he didn't notice until my hand practically forced him to look at me. And when he did I saw the confusion and pain and anger in them and I smiled and all those feelings diffused and were replaced by love, and gentleness and longing._

"_Did you listen to me?" – "I always listen to you, angel."_

_I just gaped. And laughed._

"_I have a proposition for you." – "I don't bet with angels. They always win."- "It's only a proposition. " – "No rather not. I know your competitive spirit will come through somwhere down the road. And if it's not that one it's the pout and you know damn well I can never say no to the pout." – "That's not true." – "Oh it is." - Well okay then."_

_I started walking again. Without his hand. He just stood there staring after me. I continued walking. Smirking. After a while I turned around._

"_Don't you wanna come with me or…" – "Oh you know I will always follow you, angel." _

_And with that he started running towards me. And in that second we were back to our old playful selves. Not the ones that worried about Kate's, or parents or angry looks. We were back to playful fighting in the kitchen while making pizza and to playful banter in the coffeeshop. We were back to us._

_So I started running and he started to chase me. I knew he was faster than me. He was a man after all and good built one at that. I was panting. And laughing. And happy. And carefree. And I could hear him laugh behind me. And I turned around and he was just an arms length away so I tried to run faster and I tripped over my own feet. And while I felt myself tripping two arms already snaked themselves around my stomach and knocked all the air out of me._

_Next thing I knew we were lying in the grass, breathing heavily but smiling and laughing. He tickled me and I kicked him and I wanted to cherish the moment because I knew he would go back to his worrying._

"_So, what's that proposition.". And the playful mood was gone on my part. His brow furrowed. "Are your chances to win in this that bad? You know, you always have the pout." – "I was asking myself, what if we make a deal out of this. You tell me what it is that has had you so worked up for days now and I'm going to… I don't know. Make you pizza or something."_

_And with that the worried look had been back._

That was not the last time I directly asked him about the subject. I decided to let it drop and wait for him to come to me. Even if the feeling of curiosity and dread and change was creeping up on me more each passing day. I knew he would come to me though because he always did. I knew he trusted me and I knew he was just trying to find a way out of it without hurting my feelings.

I also knew that other things were bothering him. I knew that he hadn't had many jobs lately and that the jobs he did have were boring him. I had taken on more hours in the bookshop so I could earn us some more money but apparently it wasn't enough. I knew he wanted more as a musician. I knew his dream had always been composing music for movies but he said, "You need to have connections and a lot of money to get into that business. There are only few composers on the top."

The issue of money had come up a few times lately.

_We were currently grocery shopping. Together. He had been adamant on spending time with me since I was apparently working too much so we were currently in a small grocery store trying to find the items we needed and trying to find them for little money. _

_Edward was beside me and constantly counting the total in his head. It wasn't the way I'd hoped to spend my time with him. When we were done and on our way home I asked him how worried about money he actually was. He kissed my nose and just said, "Later."_

In our little appartment he had explained to me that things weren't looking good right now. That we too little income and too many expenses. I told him I could take on another job. He just hugged me, stumbled over to the couch, lay down with me on top of him and mumbled into my hair that that was not necessary and that he would find a way out of this.

I held his hand throughout the drive to his parents'. I held it on my lap and one finger caressed his palm. And he would let out tiny sighs from time to time that he didn't even notice himself. Even though things had been strained between us lately because of the money and because of all the other things that were apparently bothering him, those little things, like his sigh whenever I scratched his head or caressed his palm, reassured me.

**A/N: **I really wanna apologize for my lack of updates. And I know nobody wants to hear why anyway so I just promise I'll try to be better in the future.


	15. Chapter 14

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing Stephenie Meyer or Twilight related.

Chapter 14:

As soon as the Cullen's house came into view I noticed another car standing there. It wasn't Kate's car though. I knew her car and I would've been reassured, at least to some extent, by her car because she had become sort of like a friend to me. Or at least the closest thing I had to a friend. But it was a new car. Or at least I thought so.

When Edward entered, me behind him, I immediately recognized the voice of Mrs. Denali. It was a voice that to me, resembled that of a parrot talking. I felt a lot of things during those dinners already. I dreaded them. I was uncomfortable. Uneasy. Not myself. I fidgeted. I counted the seconds until they were over and I felt guilty about that.

Edward knew those things even though I've never said them out loud. He knew I felt uncomfortable around his parents. He knew his parents didn't like me. He felt guilty about not saying anything. He felt guilty about having me sit there every week. He felt guilty about being scared to loose his parents by saying something to them. I wasn't mad at him. I understood him just like I knew he understood me.

So he made it up to me in his own way. By taking my hand. By kissing my temple. By including me into the conversation. By looking at me. With love. And adoration. And making me feel all those feelings only he could evoke. By making me feel alive even though his parents did their best to make me feel out of place.

As we sat down on the couch, my small hand in Edward's big hand, opposite the Denali's I could feel Mrs. Denali's eyes glare into my soul making me even more uncomfortable than I already was. Edward tried to reassure me. Kissing my temple. Murmuring 'I love you's. Edward was tense himself. He was short with his dad and Mr. Denali. It only strengthened my suspicion that all of this had something to do with them.

During dinner my stomach felt queasy. I couldn't eat. I couldn't drink. I stared at my plate. Intimitated. Scared. Angry. So angry at them for making me feel that way. So angry for myself for being that way. I didn't want to feel that way. Be that way. I wanted to stand up for myself. Be there for Edward. Make them see that I was good for him.

At first I didn't even realize they were talking about me. I was too trapped inside my own head to pay attention. But they did. Right there at the table. While Edward, his father and Mr. Denali were talking about things I didn't understand.

"I just think he could do so much better. Remember how much fun he and my Katie used to have?" – "Yeah they were just adorable. I always thought the two of them would end up together." – "Too bad he had to run away like that. They would've been perfect for each other. They still are actually. What's his current girlfriend called again?" Quietly. Nearly whispering. "Her name's Isabella." – "Why does she never talk?" – "I don't know. I tried to talk to her and get to know her on many occasions but she never once…"

"I'm sorry?", I asked. Tired of feeling insecure. Tired of stepping back. Feeling corageous. Feeling fed up. Feeling guilty. Because this was Edward's mother. He loved her.

"Sorry, my dear?" – "You said you tried to get to know me." By now everyone was listening to our conversation. Edward's thumb had stopped stroking the back of my hand. He just sat there. Gaping. The guilt. Overwhelming. But I couldn't listen any longer. Couldn't. Wouldn't. "You said you tried to get to know me but that's not true. Kate tried to get to know me. Apart from her nobody did." – "Edward don't you want to say something to her? That's no way to talk to an elder woman." – "Mom…." – "I'm not his pet." – "Well maybe that's the problem. Maybe you should listen more often." I just gaped. "Okay mom, that's enough." – "Edward, honey, you have to see that she's not nearly good enough to you. She's not what you need. She has no manners and is entirely too…" – "Mom I said that's enough. I already told you this once. I love her. She's going to stay." – "Okay then. You know your father's offer stands."

The rest of the dinner passed in awkward silence. Nobody talked. My hands were shaking. My head was pounding. I just wanted to go home.

The drive home was in silence as well. The worried look was back. I wanted to kiss it away. I didn't know if he'd let me though.

Back home I asked him what his father's offer was. He looked into my eyes and I could see his struggle. See he was scared and worried and didn't want to lose me.

"I don't want you to hear that.", he said. His voice. Agonized. Scared.

"I'm a strong girl." A smirk. "I noticed that today." – "Are you mad?" – "No. Proud." A smile. "They were talking about me. I didn't want to do it. I don't want you to choose between me and your family. You'll never have to make a choi…" – "You are my family." Smile. Breathtaking.

"What was his offer." Smile gone. He struggled with himself. With his guilt. "I'm not gonna run."

He led me over to the bed. Laid me down. Crawled on top of me. Kissed my forehead. Eyes. Nose. Mouth. Laid down beside me. Started talking.

"You know we haven't earned a lot of money lately right?" I just looked into his eyes and kissed his chin. "I was worried. I want to provide for you. When I was golfing with my dad I asked him for a job. In his company. Just a small one that would make our financial situation better. I didn't want you to have to work 2 or 3 jobs. You deserve to be treated like a princess and I wanted that so I thought I'd ask him because he's my dad and I love him and I knew he'd help me if he could. He said he didn't really have a job for me but he still had a trust fund set up for me. Or, he said, he could help me. With composing music. Getting into the business. But I had to do something in exchange for that…"

"He's blackmailing you?" – "No, it's not like that. He wants what he thinks is best for me." – "What do you have to do in exchange?" – "I don't know if you wanna hear this." – "I do." – I just want you to know I never even considered it I…" – "Okay." Silence. More silence. "He wanted me to marry. Kate. He said he knew I love Kate and a lot of other bullshit but mainly that it would be benifical for the Denali and Cullen company to merge to one big company. And that would be easiest if Kate and I married. I swear Bella I've never even considered it once. The reason I was so weird all week is because I'm trying to find ways out of this for us. Without hurting anyone. Without losing anyone. I don't wanna lose my family but more than that I don't wanna lose you. And Kate, you have to know that she has no idea this is happening. She isn't in on the plan or anything. She doesn't know…." – "But she loves you. She always has. I mean I can see it in her eyes." – "But that doesn't mean a thing. I don't." – "Okay." – "Okay? That's all?" – "Yeah. I trust you. We'll find a way out of this."

Smile. Sad smile. But trust. Trust in his eyes. Trust in my eyes. Trust that we'd get through this, one way or another.

We made love that night. I could feel how relieved he was. To have that burden off his chest. To know I wouldn't run. To know he could trust me with any kind of information.

I laid in bed, awake until 3 am, trying to find ways out of this. I knew there had to be ways. I could think of one. But I didn't even want to consider it. It stayed in my head though, nestled in the farthest corner of my brain and refused to get out. I knew I'd never ask him to choose. He'd never have to choose between his family and me. I just wished his family would do the same.


	16. Chapter 15

_**Disclaimer**_: I own nothing Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related.

Chapter 15:

Things started calming down after the big fallout. Edward was still talking to his family. He still went to the weekly dinners. Sometimes I went with him. sometimes I stayed home and read a book. All the while hoping they wouldn't turn him against me.

In my brain it was the Cullen's against me. I didn't want it to be that way. So all bad feelings stayed there. In my brain. Locked away. Hidden. I didn't want Edward to find out. He didn't need the additional pressure.

Edward still tried his best to find work. The amount of gigs he did have did nothing to make our financial situation better. I was working two jobs. I would work three or four jobs for Edward. He refused though. He said he wanted to take care of me. I said that he was being ridiculous. He said I was stubborn. I told him to shut up. He kissed me. And I smiled into his mouth. And the discussion was forgotten.

About two months after the argument at the Cullen's I came home from work when Edward sat on the couch crushing something in his hands, looking sad. Scared. Longing. I saw the guilt in his eyes again.

When I asked what was wrong he stared me in the eyes, shimmering with tears, ran his hand through his hair, took my hand and pulled me on the couch with him. What I saw in his hand made my heart ache for him. A picture. I took his other hand. Brought it to my mouth. Kissed its palm. Kissed his eyes. Tasting the salty liquid. Wanting to take his pain away once again. Whispering 'I love you's.

His hand grasped his hair once again. Tugging. Inflicting pain. "This was taken when he was about 12. We were playing baseball. So normal. Such a normal thing to do for boys. He loved sports. He would've been good. Maybe he would've made sports his profession. I think about him all the time. I wanna go there. To the graveyard. I never said goodbye bc I refused to part from him. I still do. I don't wanna say goodbye. I wanna talk to him though. Just feel close to him again. Just once."

Emmett Charles Cullen. Beloved friend, brother and son. My hand in Edward's. Squeezing. Holding onto me like a lifeline. I could hear his breathing. Ragged. Laboured. I stepped in front of him. Looked into his eyes. Tortured. Willed my knees not to cave in. Took his face into my hands. Kissed his lips. "None of this, none of it is your fault." And he nodded. And I smiled. I smiled because this was the first time he had admitted this to himself.

"I'm going to let you have some privacy. Just wait by the…" – "No. Don't go. Just… please." His eyes. Pleading. Pleading for me to be his strength. "Okay."

He sank down on his knees in front of the grave. Wiped his tears away. Clutched the picture in his hands. And began talking in whispers. I didn't hear anything. Didn't want to listen. Just wanting him to get his closure. To feel close to his brother. Just once.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" – "Get out of where?" – "This apartment. This room. This couch. I don't know. Just out." – "Okay." He took my hand. Pulled on it. Tried to pull me off the couch. Laughter. Twinkling eyes. He scooped me up. And walked out of the apartment. Without shoes. Barefoot. Just smiling and laughing and being happy.

We walked down the streets. Hand in hand. In our sweats. Barefoot. One time he skipped. I think he skipped in his walk. And I laughed.

"Do you want some chocolate?" – "What?" – "Chocolate. Come on I'm gonna buy you a box of chocolate. And it has to be in the form of a heart. Chocolate in the form of a heart." My heart laughed. My mouth smiled. My hands tingled.

He bought me chocolate. Heart-shaped chocolate. Barefoot. In a little store. He bought me chocolate while kissing me and squeezing my hand, playing with my fingers, wriggling his barefoot toes and explaining to a perplexed salesman that he was in love with me.

I asked him if he was drunk. His cheesy answer was, "drunk of love, angel." And I jumped and tried to ruffle his hair. It was more like a clap on the back of his head. And he made fun of me.

When we found a park he took my hand and let himself fall to the ground effectively pulling me down with him. And then he kissed me. And we ate heart-shaped chocolate and talked and laughed and were carefree. I fell asleep there, on the ground, with his head on my stomach and his hand over my heart. And when I awoke again there was his head on my stomach and his hand on my heart holding a ring.

And he looked at me with the eyes of a child. Insecure. Innocent. Searching for love. Afraid to be rejected. And all he said was, "Marry me." and all I did was smile. With tears in my eyes. Looking into his insecure, innocent eyes trying to give him the love those eyes were searching for.


	17. Chapter 16

_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own anything Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related.

**A/N:** So my laptop broke down. Which means I don't exactly know when I'll be able to update again. But I'll try my best. Thanks for all the sweet reviews I receive with every chapter. I may not have many readers but the one's I have are loyal so I wanted to thank you for that.

Chapter 16:

We kept the news of our engagement secret. We tried to.

The first few days we hardly ever left our little apartment. It was our sanctuary. Our place. The place were we could be us. Simply us. Without expectations or speculating eyes.

We watched movies. Tons of movies. He got me to watch horror movies and I got him to watch silly cartoons and he got me to watch classics and I got him to watch chick flicks. We listened to a lot of music. Music Edward loved. And watching his face while Edward listened was one of the most beautiful things. He had his eyes closed. His head on the back rest of the couch. Breathing through his mouth. Smiling. It was the most beautiful thing. It made my stomach ache. My insides curl. In a good way. It made me smile and laugh and giggle.

We also read. Sometimes he read and I watched him with my head on his chest, leaned towards his face. It was the cutest thing. The way he would bite his lip or furrow his brows or mutter under his breath.

Sometimes he would watch me and smile and laugh at my expressions. And sometimes we read together, in bed, our feet tangled together, just being.

Kate was the first person we told about our engagement. Hers and Edward's friendship had blossomed throughout the weeks and we now met up at least once a week. Sometimes she came to our apartment and we watched a movie together. Sometimes her and Edward went for lunch, alone. Sometimes she and I went shopping. And even though I was never able to buy something I liked spending time with her. She was my only friend. And even though I knew about Mr. Cullen's and Mr. Denali's "deal" they had proposed to Edward and I knew that Kate ultimately played a big part in that deal I never thought bad of her. I knew she had no deal in it. I always knew she was in love with Edward. I also always knew she didn't plan on pursuing those feelings.

I couldn't help but notice the exchanges between Edward and Kate though. And I couldn't help but feel and see that Edward may be a tiny little bit in love with her as well. I didn't know if they love I saw in his eyes was the love a friend has for his best friend or if there was also a little bit of lover in it. But I also knew that I was the one Edward would choose any day. So I didn't say anything. And observed.

When we told Kate about the engagement she was happy for us. I saw the little sadness in her eyes. But she pushed it down and smiled and even paid a bottle of champagne for us.

Money was still an issue. A big issue. He didn't talk to me about it. Wouldn't say anything about how little money we had but I wasn't blind or dumb. I saw it in his eyes. The worry and shame. And that worry only got bigger with time.

A few weeks after Edward had proposed to me we were expected at a dinner party that was held at his parents' house.

"Are you sure you wanna go?" – "Yeah. Don't try to talk me out of it." – "But I know you don't like them." – "Edward it's not that I don't like your parents. They just make me uncomfortable. And they don't really approve of me…" I let that sentence hang. Knowing he'd feel guilty. Wishing he wouldn't. Arms encircling me from behind. Kisses against my collarbone. Promises. Whispered. "It doesn't change anything." I turned around and looked into his eyes. "I know."

Walking up the driveway lined with cars I was as nervous as ever. In a way I was more nervous because there were people. People that were friends with Esme and Carlisle. People that wanted to see Esme's and Carlisle's "lost son" and people that were going to judge me. Because I didn't fit into that world. Because I wasn't supposed to be at Edward's side in their opinion.

On the other hand I was calmer than normally. Because there were people around. People Esme would be occupied with which meant I wouldn't have to endure here dissaproving glances and staring.

Inside the house we were handed glasses of some expensive liquid. I didn't like the taste. I drank it anyway. I was nervous. Shuffling. Grabbing onto Edward's hand like a lifeline. A few people talked to him. He was good at making conversation. Good at being sophisticated, dodging the right questions and making people laugh. He made them laugh and smile and he had the ability to turn a conversation in the right direction. The direction he was comfortable with. He talked about sports and politics and the weather and even fashion. And it was that day that I realized that Edward fit right into this world.

They hardly ever talked to me and I was okay with that. I didn't belong here. I knew that and they knew that.

After a while we had made our way through to were Esme and Carlisle were talking with a couple. She was dressed perfectly appropriate like always. And when she saw us coming towards her I saw in her eyes that she wished I'd had stayed home. She didn't say it. But her eyes screamed it.

After Edward had kissed her cheek and shook his father's hand he leaned down, took my face into his hands and looked into my eyes. I saw love and regret and determination there. And I didn't know what to think of it.

"I'll be right back." A kiss on the forehead.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll just talk to my dad real quick." A kiss on the lips.

"You'll be back?" And my voice cracked. Because I was scared. He hadn't talked to me about this. Hadn't mentioned it.

"I'll always be back." A kiss on the temple.

I stood there. Scared.

Scared for Edward and me. Scared for our relationship. Scared for our future. I trusted him. I did. But I also knew that nothing good had ever come out of a talk between Edward and his dad.

While I stood there Esme noticed my engagement ring. And she didn't comment. Not with words. But her eyes. Her eyes conveyed all the anger and disappointment and desperation and love. Anger and disappointment because it was me he was engaged to. Desperation and love because she loved her son and she wanted better things for him. And I couldn't hate her for that. I couldn't hate her because she wanted her son to have a good, fulfilled life. And I realized that maybe, if she or I had had made the effort to get to know each other she wouldn't have that anger or disappointment or desperation in her eyes. There would be pride and happiness and love.

I decided to go search for Kate. Being in Esme's vicinity made me uneasy, even more so without Edward. When I found her she smiled and hugged me and introduced me to the people she was talking to and not once I felt out of place. And my mind couldn't help but imagine her and Edward together. Being their sophisticated, intelligent selves. Their families being happy, ecstatic about an engagement. And he would never have to stay at home because of her and he would never have to choose between his family and her. And in my mind Edward was smiling. Maybe not the way he smiled at me but he was smiling. And it hurt. But it also made me realize that Kate could in fact make Edward happy. Maybe not as happy as he was with me. But she could make him happy.


	18. Chapter 17

_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own anything Twilight and Stephenie Meyer related.

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><p>Chapter 17:<p>

"You asked for money?" We were at home. Back from the dinner party. She was mad. I'd never really seen my angel mad before but she was now and it was killing me.

"I had to, we don't…" She stood on the opposite side of the room. Hands in her hair. Both of them. Much like me. She looked worried. Scared. Sad. All those things I never wanted her to look like. All those things I promised to never make her feel.

"You could start talking to me. Talk to me about those things. Why didn't you tell me we don't even have enough money to get by for a month?" I was worried and scared and sad too. For her.

"Bella, I didn't want to burden you. You're already working two jobs I…" I looked into her eyes. Her beautiful eyes that were looking at me. Accusing me of keeping things from her. I was pleading.

She crossed the room and took my face into her hands. Her shaking hands. "You have to learn to talk to me. To trust me. All my life I needed someone to trust and I thought I could but… I can't do tis if you don't trust me. I can't trust someone that keeps secrets from me."

Pain. My knees buckled. "Angel…"

"Tell me. Whatever it is that is wrong, you have to tell me. I'm already insecure enough Edward. This thing with your parents. It hurts. And I don't know how much longer I can live like that. I don't want to ask you to choose but do something. Anything."

"I don't know what to do." I was so torn. So very torn. Torn between the people that raised me, people that I love and people and shaped him and the woman I love more than anything else in this world."I love them. And I love you."

"I know.", and with that she kissed me. And I took her into my arms, laid her down on the bed and made her forget about this day and the things that worried and scared her. But I couldn't forget.

I lay awake. The whole night. I thought about the things Bella had said and I thought about my feelings. If I were forced to choose I'd chose her. I knew that. But that didn't mean the choice would be a simple one. I loved my parents. And I knew that the way they treated her wasn't right but I was also scared to lose the relationship I had with them right now. I didn't want that. Because I loved them. Because I know they loved me and they want what's best for me. In their own way they think what they're doing is in my best interest and I couldn't fault them that. I'd do everything in my power to make my child happy as well. They just didn't know that she was the only one that could ever make me happy.

But mostly I didn't want to choose because of Emmett. He wouldn't have wanted this. He wouldn't have wanted any of this. Emmett's death had changed my parents. Me. My family. It had changed them in the way that they were colder nowadays. There was no trace of the loving parents I knew from growing up. There was no trace of the mom that thought dinner parties were boring and that watched every dumb movie with us or let us play video games that made other mothers cringe. There was no trace of the father that never missed one of Emmett's baseball games or my piano recitals no matter how busy he was. Emmett's death turned them into the people they never wanted to be. And even though seeing them like this hurt I secretly hoped that I could change them back. That there was a way for me to get through their walls and make them see that I wanted my mom and dad back. Not robots.

Emmett wouldn't have wanted that his parents turn into robots and he wouldn't have wanted for me to turn my back on them. He would've wanted for me to do everything to make them better. To make us a better family.

Family was everything for Emmett and I had to try to be like him.

Two weeks after the dinner party I woke up to kisses all over the face. The sweetest lips kissing my nose and forehead and closed eyes and lips. Smiles. Giggles. And when I opened my eyes I stared into the most beautiful eyes. Smiling eyes. Laughing eyes.

"So how do you wanna spend your day, birthday boy?" – "On the couch or in this bed. Maybe we'll even make a short trip to the kitchen." – "Just the two of us right?" – "Just the two of us. Like I promised."

The morning was perfect. Smiles and giggles and laughter and love. Caresses and kisses. We watched movies and listened to music and talked and giggled. We made breakfast together and baked a cake together. Another flour battle. More laughter.

In the afternoon my mom called and asked me to come over in the evening. The torn feelings resurfaced. I didn't want to hurt Bella, wanted to spend the evening with her, but it was my birthday. And weren't birthday's supposed to be spent with one's family? So I asked Bella. And all she did was stare at me. Eyes. Dissapointed.

"Bella we don't have to do this you know you come first. We'll do whatever you want."- "It's your birthday, Edward. Of course you wanna spend it with them it's okay."- "No it's not." – "Do you wanna go over there and have dinner with them?" – "Yeah." – "Then we'll go."

Silence.

"You're sad." – "Well you promised. You promised it'd be just the two of us but okay. They're your parents. I get that you want to spend the evening with them so that's okay. I'll go get dressed."

At my parents house things were tense. From the moment we pulled up she hadn't said a word. Her silence was deafening. All I wanted to do was take her into my arms and assure her that I'd choose her anytime. Anytime.

Before dinner, my parents had given me my present. A watch. An expensive watch. And once again I hoped, desperately, that I could make them see. Make them see that the son they brought up wouldn't need an expensive watch to be happy. They'd see that the son they raised would be happy with a hug and a quiet evening in the company of his family.

Dinner was tense. For everyone.

"So, Edward, Bella, when's the wedding going to be?" Bella stilled mid-bite. I took her hand into mine. Kissed her knuckles.

"We haven't set a date yet, mom. I assure you you'd know if we had."

"Oh I'm not so sure about that. Ever since you met that girl you're different. So closed off. We hardly know you anymore."

"Mom…"

"All you ever come for here is money it seems. Have you paid your father the money back you borrowed a few weeks ago? Did she ask you to borrow that money? Or did you take the money because you had to pay that ring off?"

"I never – never – asked for any kind of money or present or ring from Edward.", Bella spoke out. Loudly. She looked angry. Really angry. And that was the moment I was scared. For the first time I was really scared of how this was going to affect our relationship. Our love. And that was the moment I realized I'd taken her support for granted. And even though I'd known this hurt her and weighed on her and I'd never done anything to prevent that.

That was the moment I realized how big my mistakes had actually been. And that maybe, they'd been too big to remedy.

"Oh that's what they all say, sweetie.", my mom sneered.

And what I saw in Bella's face broke my heart. I took her face. Made her look into my eyes. Tried to reassure her. Tell her with my eyes that I didn't think of her like that. That I loved her. That I cherished her. That I needed her.

And the tears that fell down those cheeks. Every single one of them seemed to stab my heart.

Forehead against forehead. "I love you. I'm sorry."

I stood up, "Mother, Father, can I talk to you?"

In my dad's study my mother took my face into her hands and kissed my forehead. Tears in her eyes. "Edward, sweetie, we love you. We really do. But can't you see what she's playing?" - "Mom she isn't playing anything." – "Honey even if she wasn't. She isn't made out for this life." – "What life? Dinner parties in cocktail dresses?" – "Son, we're all for you making your own mistakes and learning for them but we can't let you marry her."

I didn't need to hear more.

"Mother, Father, I love you. I really do. But this is my life. I came back because of her, came back to you because she urged me to. She wanted me to have my family back. And I did it for her. I want to be complete and happy for her and I knew I had no chance at that without some sort of closure, one way or the other. But I won't let you hurt her. Not anymore. She's out there, crying, because my parents refuse to acknowledge her. And my love for her. She's hurting. And I can't have that."

With that I left the office, ran down the stairs, took my Bella's hand, led her out of the house, kissed her temple and murmured, numerous times, how sorry I was.

She was silent.

All the way home.

And when we arrived, she laid her coat down on the bed, the bed we had shared for months. The bed we had spent so many afternoons and evenings in, just loving each other. And living. Living in our way. A way that made us happy.

And her tearful eyes tore through mine and what I saw there broke me.

"Edward, I can't do this anymore."

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><p><strong>AN:** Thanks for the reviews.


	19. Chapter 18

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related.

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><p>Chapter 18:<p>

"_Edward I can't do this anymore."_

Saying those words hurt. It hurt more than anything. It hurt more than saying goodbye to my few friends. It hurt more than saying goodbye to all those foster families. It hurt more than saying goodbye to Angela. It hurt more than anything I'd ever encountered before. And I never would've thought I'd be able to say those words but I did.

My words hung in the air. Like the pain. The pain in his eyes. His whole body. And the pain in my eyes. In my voice. In my everything. It all hung there waiting for something. For something to happen. Just like I'd waited my whole life. Waited for something to happen.

"What?" Tears in his eyes. Pleading eyes. Pleading with me.

"I.." a sob. My body shook.

"No. You don't mean that." Frantic hands taking my face. Holding it to his lips. Lips. So soft. Pleading with me to change my mind. Kisses and tears and salty liquid. "What can I do to make it better. I'll do anything." Frantic words and hands and lips. Making it that much harder. "Anything. Just let me make it better. I'll…" His words caught on a sob. His hands stuck in his hair. Shaking. "We'll move back to our old apartment. I'll cut all ties. Just the two of us just…" An agonized whisper. "Don't leave please don't leave."

My whole body was shaking. Everything. My hands. My lips. My knees. My heart. My voice. "I'm not leaving. I'm going to let you go." – "No. Stop." – "I'm going to let you go and I'm going to give you the life you deserve." – "I deserve you. Listen, angel, don't do this. I'll cut all ties I promise. I swear."

The tears wouldn't stop flowing. I couldn't see. I could only make out Edward's form. Going down on his knees. Taking shaky hands into shaky hands. His head on my stomach. Pleading. Over and over again.

"No. You belong in that world Edward." – "I belong with you." – "They're supposed to be in your world. They're your parents." – "You're my world."

More sobs. Knees buckling. Hurt.

"Look into my eyes." They most beautiful eyes. Green eyes. The most beautiful soul. Staring into mine. Pleading with me not to shatter it. "All my life I've been waiting. Waiting for a family to find me. I would've given anything for a family. To grow up with a father and a mother. A father and a mother that care about me. Care about how I'm doing at school. Care about where I'm going at night. Care about what people I call my friends. Care about what hobbies I have. I just wanted a dad. An overbearing dad that threatens all my dates and a mom that tells me that I'm pretty, buys me my first lipstick and shows me how to use it. I just wanted someone to care. And whenever I thought I'd found something that resembles that it was taken away from me. And I started waiting again. And then you walked into that coffee shop and you became my family. You made me realize that family, for me, doesn't necessarily mean that I have to have a set of caring parents. I just needed someone to care. Anyone." – "You're my family." – "I know Edward. I know you think that but I also can't let you walk away from your real family. I can't take the one thing away from you I always desperately wished to have. I can't."

Ragged breaths. Salty lips on salty lips.

"I want you to."

"All my life I've been waiting for something to happen. For a family to find me. For happiness to find me. For love to find me. And you came and…" Tears. Too many to speak. "Edward, you came and brought all those things with you and I've never and will never be as happy as I've been this last year. You fulfilled my every dream. And now it's time for me to give that back to you."

His hands in his hair chanting "no, no, no" over and over again. Tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I have everything packed. Edward I'm goi…" My heart beating. Its final big show. After today there wouldn't be much left of it. "I'm going to ask you to do something. I want you to go, marry Kate because I know you like her and she loves you and I know she can make you happy and she can give you one thing I'll never be able to give you. She can give you the opportunity to live your dream. Take the money you will get out of that agreement and be the great musician you were born to be. Be happy."

"No." – "Promise me. Promise me you'll go through with it." – "No. Not without you. I won't…" I kissed him. Tasted him. Cherished him. "Please, Edward" Chocking on a sob. "Please don't make this harder."

And when he looked into my eyes I could see the defeat there.

"Okay." A sob. A sob of relief leaving my chest.

Getting up and taking my bags was probably the hardest thing I'd ever done. And the hardest thing I'd ever do. He just kneeled there. Defeated. Broken.

Kneeling down. One more time. One more time looking into the eyes. One more time looking into the soul of the man I'd called my home. Of the man that would forever be home. Of the man I'd love till my last breath left my lungs.

"I'm gonna keep the ring." A croaked thank you. Too tired to talk.

One last kiss. One last kiss that shattered my heart into tiny little pieces. A puzzle of pieces that would never be able to be brought back together.

One last time feeling his lips move against mine.

One last time savoring his taste.

One last time.

Steps.

Steps out of that door.

Grabbing for the handle.

"I will forever love you, angel."

Closed.

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><p><strong>AN:** Soooo don't kill me?


	20. Chapter 19

_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own anything Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related.

* * *

><p>Chapter 19:<p>

_We were sitting on a bench in a park. Holding hands. Smiling. My head leaning on his shoulder. _

"_Angel?" – "hmmm?" – "Are you asleep?" Giggling. "Yup." He pulled me onto his lap. Kissed my neck. "Why do I have the feeling you're lying?" – "I'm not." Tickling. More giggling._

_Suddenly. Serious faces._

"_I want to talk to you." I felt like mocking him. Deep voice. Serious face. "Talk to me." _

_More giggling._

"_Okay. So. A serious question: Where do you want to get married?"_

_Big smiles. _

"_I haven't really thought about it. I don't know. Did you have something in mind?"_

"_I did. Well I have. I don't know if you'd want that but I thought I'd ask you, and show you. When Emmett and I where younger we used to go to that park. It's really far actually, outside the city. This little church. It's really old and really kinda shabby. But we loved it. And we always said we'd both wanted to get married there. I don't know why we even talked about stuff like that. We were just kids. But I always imagined me getting married there."_

_A kiss. _

"_Show me."_

_And he did show me._

_And it was perfect._

Standing in front of that little church again, with a bag in my hand, broke my heart. Again. I don't know how often a heart could break in the span of a few hours. It broke. On my way out the door. Walking through our park. In the taxi. In front of that church. With every step. Heart breaking. Tears falling.

With a foot in the taxi I looked back. And for a second I allowed myself to wonder. Wonder about the what ifs. About what could've been.

Looking back I suddenly saw green eyes. Agonized, green eyes watching me. Agonized, green eyes screaming. Begging me to stop. To take everything back.

But I was determined to give him his dream. To give him the family he always wanted.

So I went on. Stepped inside the taxi. Paid with Edward's money.

"To the airport, please."

First I needed to go back. Back to where everything started.

With every step I took I could feel my heart breaking. Breaking into a million pieces. You cannot mend a broken heart. You cannot pick up a million pieces. I tried.

Now I'm standing here and it's still breaking. It broke on my way to the church. On my way back home, that has never been a home in the common sense to me. It was just a house I could live in. The only real homes I had where with Edward. On my way to the airport.

I needed to talk to Angela though. My only friend. My only companion. And I told her everything. And I cried with her. And it felt good. Letting it all out.

I begged her for money. Money for another plane ride. I told her about Edward. About my love for him. About my longing. About the proposal and about Esme. About my regrets and anger. And about my wish. My wish to start over. Somewhere new. A clean break. A new life. An unhappier life. But a new life.

A few hours later. Another airport. To Florida. Miami. Somewhere warm. I was so tired. I had nowhere to go.

On the beach. The wind tickling my face. My heart breaking. A few thousand miles between us. My mind still on him. My heart still breaking.

It felt as if I'd loved him for as long as I could think. It was mutual. From the very beginning it was mutual. I saw him. I gaped. I laughed. I cried. I loved. I don't know about him. I guess it was similar for him.

There was drama. Really nasty high school drama. There were tears. On both parts. But there was also laughter and smiles and ice cream and love.

Yesterday I thought that everything would be fine. Everything would turn out fine in the end. That my world wouldn't turn upside down and my heart wouldn't break into a million pieces and I'd get my happily ever after.

I wouldn't though.

Weeks passed. The first few days I slept where I could. In parks. On the street. I had spent all my money on plane tickets. I spent most of my time on the beach. I was numb. Couldn't bring myself to do anything else.

On my fifth day there I met an old woman on the beach. With a dog. She fell. I helped her up. We talked. Her name was Leona. She offered me a job. To live with her. To take care of her. And I accepted. I had nothing to lose.

I got my own room. I cooked for her. I cleaned for her. I talked to her. I strolled along the beach with her.

She told me about her dead husband. Her dog. Her life. Her heartbreak.

And I told her about mine. And it felt good to get it out. She just took me into her arms. And let me cry and sob. And she soothed me in a way a grandmother or mother would. It was a new experience.

Two weeks after I moved in with her she told me to sit down with her.

"Sweetie" She patted my cheek. It made me smile. Smile with sad eyes. "You have to live on. You have to stop shutting yourself off. You can wait. You can wait your whole life for him, honey. It's what I would've done. But you have to learn to stand on your own two feet." – "I should probably get a job." – "I'm gonna help you with that." – "I want to work in a coffee shop."

A knowing face looked into a teary face. Knowing arms hugged a shaking body. Shaky breaths. Soothing touches.

And a week later I had found a job. At a coffee shop. Because I couldn't give up that connection. I wouldn't.

And another week later, when the door closed and the bell above the door rang a man stepped into the shop. Hand in hair. Looking distraught. And when he looked up green, agonized eyes stared into mine.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thank you all so much for the reviews to the last chapter. They were all really sweet and... passionate lol Probably only 2 or 3 chapters left :)


	21. Chapter 20

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related.

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><p>Chapter 20:<p>

Holding gazes. Just staring. A sense of déjà-vu. A shaky breath.

There were just a few steps between us. He crossed them. Never taking his eyes off me. His eyes. Looking lost and scared and agonized but also determined. He was determined.

An outstretched hand touching my face. Caressing my cheek.

"Don't ever run away again. Please don't ever leave again."

I took him to the beach. Walking side by side. Miles between us. He didn't talk a lot. Just stared. Made sure I was still there. Made sure I didn't run.

I was scared. Scared of what he might tell me. Scared of the future. Scared once again.

Suddenly he stopped walking. And stared. Hand in his hair. The wind blowing the sand into our faces. "I understand why you left. Why you had to do that." Whispered words. More silence. Just staring. "I drove to the church after you left. And I sat in there and just thought about how you did all that stuff to make me happy and I planned to go through with it. For a short while I planned to go through with it. But then I saw you there. And I couldn't. I wouldn't. I refuse to live a life without you. I was so blind. I thought I always made you understand that having my parents in my life or composing music for movies means nothing without you. Nothing. I don't want any of it without you. And I know my actions didn't show that I felt that way but I just always thought I could manage it all. I thought my old parents, the loving parents they used to be, would come back and finally see that you are the only one for me. I should've realized sooner that you can't force people to change and, angel, I'm so unbelievably sorry for everything I put you through."

Too many emotions running through me. Fright. Relief. Love. Anger. Coursing through me. All at once. Making it hard to think. Making it hard to breathe. Constricting my chest. My throat.

He waited. For an answer. For some emotion to run across my face. For me.

"How," Clearing my throat. "How did you find me?"

"After you…" Teary eyes. Constricted throat. "After you left I…" Stuttering. "I… well first I went to the church. Our church. The church I wanted to marry you in. And… I stood there, heartbroken, and just asked myself all of the 'what ifs' one isn't supposed to ask. It made it hard to breath. It was as if I could see you there, walking down the aisle, happy again. And there was nothing, NOTHING that I wanted more than that. To make you happy again. To marry you. To vow to spend the rest of my life with you. For you."

"After that I drove to my parents' house."

Tears threatening to fall. Hearts threatening to break. Breaths that weren't enough.

"Listen, angel it's not what you think." Desperation. "I went there and… I freaked out. I screamed and basically trashed the whole living room. I blamed them for everything. For Emmett, for all my fuck ups, for making me run away, for abandoning me, and for losing you. I told them they'd never see me again. Told them that they'd lost their only son by not accepting you."

He stood there. Closed eyes. Looking downwards.

"I told them that if they wanted any chance at maintaining any kind of relationship they'd have to help me find you. They'd have to help me win you back. They did. My dad found out what flight you got on. I don't know how he did it. He gave me the money I needed for the ticket. Basically told me I could take whatever money I needed. I flew down here a day after you did. And it took me this long to find you."

Piercing eyes. Observing. Observing me. Trying to decipher what I was thinking.

"How did you find me?"

He smiled. Cocking his head to one side. Sparkling eyes.

"I visited every coffee shop I found. Asked if an Isabella Swan worked there."

Butterflies in the stomach. Smiles. Tears and laughter.

"You would've looked for me in every coffeeshop in Miami?"

"I even have a map in my hotelroom."

I sat down in the sand. Wiped tears away. Tried to stop smiling. He sat down beside me. Smiled. Tired eyes looking at each other. Tired souls longing for each other. Each afraid to move. Afraid to breathe. To take a wrong step. To ruin their only chance.

"Bella, I know…" Searching for words. For meaning. "I know I hurt you. I know that. I know I made you think my parents and my stupid dream job were more important than you. I know I pushed you away. I know I excluded you. I know I broke your heart. I know I promised you'd be safe with me and I know I broke that promise. I…. I made you feel like running was your only option and… I can't…" He looked eyes staring. Into my eyes. Staring into my soul. Willing it to believe him. "That will be my biggest regret in all my life. That I failed you. I failed you and I'm sorry. You don't know how sorry I am. I wasn't the man you needed me to be. I chose my parents over my family."

Quiet. Too quiet.

"Edward, I…"

"No, let me get this out. I call you angel because you are. You are an angel sent to me. To get me to live again. I think…. I think my brother sent you. To pick my sorry ass up and get me to live again. And he would so kick my ass if I fuck this up for good. So…" A heavy breath. "Do you think we could start over? Not forget anything that happened because that wouldn't be right. I wanna remember my mistakes. And I wanna remember my time with you. Because it was the happiest time of my life."

He took my hand. Pulled on it. Asking me silently to get up. When I was standing he took my second hand. Stepped closer.

Erratically beating heart. Shallow breathing. Hope blooming inside my chest. My head fighting it. Telling me that I was being stupid. That he could hurt me again. That he was the only person that could hurt me. He'd proven it.

"So I'm just gonna put it all out there. I'm gonna ask you to trust me even though I don't deserve your trust. But I know… I know I can't be without you. So I'm gonna ask you. A second time."

Teary eyes. A smile.

Getting down on one knee.

"Will you…" Taking a deep breath. "Angel, will you please trust me to be the man you need? Will you marry me?"

My heart constricted. Begging me to listen to it. Begging me to trust the man in front of me. Reassuring me. Telling me he wouldn't disappoint again. Showing me images of how it could be. Ten years from now. Happy. Maybe not carefree. Maybe not without worries. But happy with the man in front of me. Loved.

"You have to promise me something. You have to promise me to always think of your family first. You're my family Edward. Always have been. Always will be. So I guess that makes me your family as well."

"I will. I promise." Kissing my hand. "You're the most important thing. Always have been. Always will be. I'll prove to you that I can be the man you need. That you come first. Will come first. Till the moment I draw my last breath you'll come first."

My heart smiled. And in that moment I knew. I knew that he had tried to give me the best life possible. That he had made mistakes. Mistakes that he regretted. That he had fought for me. That he would continue to fight for me until his dying day. That sometimes you have to think with your heart.

"Then yes, I will marry you."

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><p><strong>AN:** This was the last chapter. *wipes a tear away* Just an epilogue left and that's it.


	22. Epilogue

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related.

* * *

><p>Epilogue<p>

The pain. All that pain. I tried not to show it. He was pacing frantically beside me. Hands in hair. Tugging. Mumbling to himself. Angry. Scared.

Angry because I refused to go to the hospital yet. Scared because this was something new. Something totally different. Something we had wanted, something we had celebrated but something scary none the less.

"Why…" More mumbling. More pacing. More tugging. "Can we go to the hospital now, please?"

His whiny tone made me smile. His whole demeanor made me smile. He was… adorable.

"Come here. Sit down next to me." He did as I asked. Just like he'd always done.

"_Then yes, I will marry you."_

_His smile was radiant. Beautiful. Breathtaking. He jumped up. Arms encircled me. Lips found mine. And in that second I was home once again. My home had found me. And I knew, I knew for sure, that I'd never let it go again. I'd never run away again. I'd never try to take my home, my happiness, away from me again._

_And in that moment, after all the heartache and pain my life had been leading up to this, in that moment I asked myself, "Why wait?" I had waited my whole life. People spend their whole life waiting for something great to happen but why wait? Why not take initiative and start acting. So I just asked him. Because I was tired of waiting._

"_Let's get married right now. I don't wanna wait. I just wanna go home, get Leona and get married. She has to be there but no one else. Just us. Do you wanna marry me? Right now?"_

_After a lot of staring he had said yes. And smiled that breathtaking smile again. Just for me. And then we got married. We got a license. And we got married. In a nice little church by some nice old man that was kind enough to do it late at night. And it was perfect. We didn't need dresses or tuxedos, bridesmaids or nervous friends. Just us. And a crying Leona._

After a lot of staring and pleading with his eyes he sat down next to me. I leaned my head onto his shoulder. Took a deep breath. Closed my eyes. Smiled.

I took his hand and put it onto my belly.

"Are you excited?"

And his eyes answered for him. Shining as brilliantly as on our wedding day.

"Very. You have no idea. I can't wait. But I want this baby to wait till we're in the hospital but I don't know if it's gonna listen because, frankly, children never listen to what their parents say so can we, I'm begging you, can we go now?"

Back to rambling. Back to mumbling. Back to pacing. Back to tugging.

Back to smiling.

_After getting married we bought a house. We could. Because his parents gave us the money. And at first I wanted to refuse to take it and scream and cry and throw a fit but I relented. Because parents are supposed to love their child. Parents are supposed to support and help their child. And since this was the only way Edward let them do it I would be okay with it. And I really wanted a house._

_I went to university. Edward opened his own little studio where he taught children, recorded his own music, sold it and where people could book him. It ran good. We made enough money to get me through school, to keep our house and to allow Leona to live with us. Because in those few weeks that I had lived with her she had given me more love than anyone apart from Edward ever had. And I loved her. _

_We were comfortable. And that's all I had ever wanted._

At the hospital he informed every nurse and every doctor of every contraction. He was being protective. He wanted everything to go right. He wanted something to do. Something to distract him.

The tugging didn't stop. The mumbling didn't stop. The pacing didn't stop.

Whenever I had a contraction his face would contort into this mask of pain and longing and fear. But he would hold my hand. And he would talk me through it. Just like he always had.

_I stared at the test willing it to disappear. Because we had wanted this. Because we had asked for this. But we had thought it would take longer. That we'd have more time to prepare ourselves. _

_I wasn't ready for this yet. At least not in that moment. I was scared of ruining this. Ruining this child. I was scared that my child would someway have to go through the same things I had to go through as a kid. I didn't want that. I wanted it to grow up like Edward did. The perfect parents._

_We weren't perfect though. _

_We were messy. We were lazy. We were sometimes irresponsible. We were scatterbrained. We fought. We made up. Sometimes we didn't even know how to take care of ourselves._

_For three days I kept my pregnancy a secret. From Edward. From Leona. That is until he confronted me about me "acting weird". And I told him that he was delusional. And then we fought. He said he knew his wife. That he knew me better than I knew myself. I told him he was delusional. We fought. Leona laughed. We made up._

_And I told him. About the pregnancy. About my fears._

_And he turned fear into happiness. Like he always had._

After each contraction he would kiss my hand and forehead and lips and nose over and over again mumbling, "If I could I'd take the pain away I swear. But I can't. I'm so sorry. I hate seeing you like this."

And I'd take his hand and hold it to my belly and say, "It's all for him. It's okay. I've been through worse."

And the flash of pain in his eyes would be quickly masked by mischief. "It's a girl. We've discussed that."

And we'd both smile like the happy idiots we were remembering the day at the doctor's office.

_Our doctor sat down in a chair regarding us with a smile. Edward held my hand. _

"_So, do you guys wanna know the sex of the baby?" – "Yes. We have this room for the baby and we wanted to decorate it and I already wanted to start but Bella always said we'd have to wait to find out the sex so yeah… We want to know." _

_He was nervous again. Rambling. I giggled._

"_Okay then. Let's get this show on the road."_

_She squeezed the yucky gel onto my stomach and started moving the ultrasound wand around. Edward squeezed my hand. Smiling. _

_The heartbeat again. Like everytime. It made my own heart stutter. My eyes tear a little. My breaths come a little faster. Because this was our baby. Our child that we loved with everything we had in us. _

"_So it seems like he or she is a bit shy. I can't get a good enough view." Edward frowned. In that adorable way. Frustrated. Never disappointed though. "We can try at your next check up. Everything else looks fine."_

_We tried everytime. We failed everytime._

Going through the process of labor and giving birth has been special. Many women say it's something horrible. Going through all that pain. It wasn't easy. It hurt. But it was all worth it.

Edward was a mess. Frantic. Scared of something going wrong. Scared of me not being able to go through the pain. Scared of the unknown. I was calm. This baby brought with it a new calmness. Because I would go through anything for this baby. Do anything for this baby.

_In my last trimester Edward's dad called. Leona picked up the phone. He wanted to talk to me._

_A lot of different emotions cursed through me. The overruling one being fear. But I wouldn't let fear stop me anymore. I could face fear. For me. For Edward. For our baby._

_He wanted to talk to me. Asked for forgiveness. Asked if they could make it up to us. Someway. Sometime. And I told him to visit us. To see the man his son had become. The husband. The father. And to see his happiness and be happy about his happiness._

_And they did. We still weren't the best of friends. But we were on our way. _

The moment we heard it cry for the first time was overwhelming. Edward's hand where shaking. He kissed my hand. Over and over again. His tears were dropping onto my hand. He mumbled "thank you" over and over again.

The "It's a girl." made me giggle through my tears. And it made Edward look smug.

And a few hours later, we were all in the hospital bed. Edward held his baby girl in his arms. Stared down at her. Couldn't take his eyes off her.

"I never in a million years thought it'd be this intense. To love. I would do anything for you two. Anything. I'm scared. Of not being enough. But then I think about how it's impossible that any other parents love their child as much as we do so… We can't screw this up. It's impossible. Because we love her. More than anything."

A short pause.

"We need a name. A pretty one. A name that is adequate for an angel. She is so beautiful. Perfect. She has your lips and nose and my hair and she is perfect. We need to take lots of pictures."

Her little yawn made both of our eyes water. His pinky finger stroked her cheek. My hand stroked her head.

And just like that we were complete.

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><p><strong>AN:** So this was it. The last chapter.** THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE THAT READ THIS OR PUT IT ON ALERT OR FAVORITED IT OR REVIEWED**. I never thought anyone would ever be interested in this and you all blew me away. Thank you so very much. I can't even express how happy I am someone read this and actually liked it lol. Every little review made me smile. You guys were just amazing.

**A HUGE THANK YOU ALSO TO LINH.** Without her I would've never even posted this. Thank you. Her support was needed. I love you.

So, thank you so much for reading this and I hope you liked it. Kay shutting up now. Bye 3


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